In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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