We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
