How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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