break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
