The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
