Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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