there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
