I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
