we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
