I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
