his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm like, not good at living.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
