Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
