Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.