yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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