I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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