do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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