my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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