maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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