Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
don't judge my taste in strippers
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I enjoy the company of your penis
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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