You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
