she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
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You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
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Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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