Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
