My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i out mim tonsoeep
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
