woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
