We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
