all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
