just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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