I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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