Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
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