I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
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Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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