Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
