I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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