ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I need water and some morals
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
