I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
