Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize