Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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