dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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