Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
