if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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