You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
