Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
