Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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