First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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