Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
