Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
