Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
