Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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