but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
