It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
