Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
