Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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