we're blogging at a bar
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
