question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
