But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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