drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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