your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize