You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
