I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
