I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
